11-15 years of age

What is mental health?
How can I help myself?
Get these needs met to stay mentally healthy!
What if I need some help?
What is Counselling?
I want to help someone else
Useful links:

What is mental health?
Mental health is a state of well-being in which the person realises their own abilities and can cope with the normal stresses of life.
Sometimes things go wrong with our bodies. We may catch a bug and become ill or we might get hurt in an accident. In the same way, we can have problems with our mental health.
If we have problems with our mental health we might have feelings that we can’t shake off, such as feeling:
• sad
• confused
• angry
• scared
• tearful
• irritable
• panicky
• hopeless
• worried
• guilty
• numb
• despair

These feelings can become so strong that they start to overwhelm us. We feel they are too much to cope with and we become distressed by them. People are not born with mental health problems. The problems can develop at any time and each person’s experience is individual to him or her. They can last anything from several weeks to a lifetime.

When people first begin to experience difficulties they may be confused about what is happening. In some cases, people will deny that anything is wrong or hide it. They do this because they feel embarrassed, ashamed or scared of other people’s reactions. This fear of other people’s reactions may put some people off going for help.

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How can I help myself?
Sometimes it can be hard to have a positive view on the world especially if things have been hard to cope with. Learning new things and improving on things you are already good at can be really positive ways of helping yourself to feel confident and happier.

Although it sounds really simple, getting enough sleep, healthy food and exercise can help you to feel more able to tackle the problem that is worrying you.

If there's someone you trust, talk with them and see if they can help you understand what is going on in your life and how you can make positive changes.

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 Get these needs met to stay mentally healthy!
There are lots things we all need to keep ourselves mentally healthy such as:
• Feeling safe and looked after
• Having help with money and finances
• Giving positive attention to others (it could be a person or a pet)
• Getting respect for stuff you are good at
• Being able to give your opinions and have people listen to you
• Realise that you are not alone. There are many people out there
who have gone through very similar things – and come out the
other side.
• Don’t hide away… it is OK to feel terrible. You are not wrong, or bad to want to feel better. Nobody else has the right to say or do things to you that make you feel worse, no matter what you feel about yourself.

You can try to tell someone you trust about how you are feeling. Explain as clearly as you can what is going on, and be as honest as you can.

Try writing down what you are feeling and giving it to them, or www.justlikeme.org.uk/content/help/index.htm speak to a helpline, who can offer you advice or just a listening ear.
Be persistent. If the first person you speak to can’t, or does not help you, try somebody else.

Reach out to your friends, family, or your boyfriend/girlfriend. They will probably realise something is up, and may not know how to talk to you about it. Print out parts of this site or others, or encourage them to speak with helpline staff too.

Friends should accept you for who you are. If people are nasty, they may not be the right friends. Some people are just scared or confused by the unknown. Try and explain how you feel, and how they can help.

Try keeping a journal. You can write about your feelings, and it often helps you remember things that happened or feelings you had, when you want to explain them to somebody else. It is also a good way of practising putting into words things that are difficult to say aloud.

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What if I need some help?
Sometimes, getting all our needs met all the time isn't possible, but it is important to get as many met as you can. Don’t suffer in silence. If you are struggling to cope then talk to someone you trust and get help.

If you live in Cheshire, you can talk to a visyon counsellor by emailing HYPERLINK "mailto:sam@visyon.org.uk" sam@visyon.org.uk.

A counsellor can then take some information from you and try to help you by emailing you back or by offering you face to face counselling.

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 What is Counselling?
It is a space where you can talk to someone outside your family and friendship groups.

Young people can experience emotional difficulties for a number of reasons:
• Family problems/ Divorce/Separation
• Illness
• Bereavement
• Loss
• Abuse
• Low self-esteem
• Problems at school
• Bullying
• Self-harming
• Anger
• Relationships / friendships
• Exam stress

Talking with a counsellor can be a way of looking at difficult experiences, finding new ways of doing things or making sense of your life in a new way.

When you see a counsellor for the first time it can feel scary and you may feel silly or confused as to why you have come. Maybe an adult has told you to come but you’re not sure why that is.  The counsellor will explain to you what counselling can offer you, and about confidentiality.  This means a counsellor will not talk to anyone about what you have talked about.  The only time a counsellor will break confidentiality is if they are concerned for your or someone else's safety.

It is your choice if you would like your parent, friend or someone you trust to be present during your counselling appointment. Young people find that talking to someone else outside their family and friends helps them to explore how they are feeling through creativity or just talking.  Our counsellors offer the space to allow the individual to communicate their feelings in a way that best suits them to they can feel comfortable and work through their difficulties.

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I want to help someone else
Sometimes it is difficult to be a friend. We all have things going on in our lives, and for whatever reason it can be hard to be there, or notice the things that happen to the people closest to us.

We all know that friendships and relationships go through their difficulties, or just fizzle out as time goes by. That said, sometimes somebody changes and you really don’t know why that is… you may be worried… you may not know what to say or how to help.

Sometimes, having mental health problems can be a reason for someone you know behaving unusually, or changing over a period of time.

 What can I do to help?
If someone you know has a mental health problem, or you think that they might do, and you’re worried about them, you may need to be patient.

They may want to talk about it – but they may not. You can’t force someone to talk if they’re not ready. Often it may be hard for them to put feelings into words. They may feel embarrassed that someone else has figured out that there is a problem.

The important thing is to let them know that you are there for them, that you care about them, and that you will not judge them.

If you find something useful on the site, print it or keep a note. Having something on paper can really help in what are likely to be difficult conversations with your friend.

Once you have started talking, think about looking for information together.
If your friend is prepared to talk to other people – like a parent, doctor, teacher or youth worker - you should offer support and maybe even go with him or her.

Sometimes, people might not want to get professional help, even if it is likely that they will need it to get better. Try to encourage them to speak to somebody.

If they cannot face speaking face to face, http://www.justlikeme.org.uk/content/help/index.htm suggest they try a helpline, whose staff can listen to them and offer them professional advice by phone or email. That way you can concentrate on being a friend, and your confidence is not broken.

It is important to remember that you might not be able to deal with everything that comes up. You are not an expert. You cannot take on your friend’s problems. You need to make sure you look after yourself too.

There is one situation when you should always act, and that is if you think somebody’s life may be in danger. It is always better to risk your friend being angry with you for breaking a confidence, than risk losing a friend forever.
If you think your friend might be at risk of suicide, please tell a parent, teacher, a doctor, or in an emergency always CALL 999.

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Useful links:
Confidential non-judgmental support, 24 hours a day for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide. 08457 90 90 90 http://www.samaritans.org.uk/

ChildLine is the free helpline for children and young people in the UK. Children and young people can call to talk about any problem.0800 1111 http://www.childline.org.uk/
http://www.achance2talk.com for on-line support and chat.

RD4U is a website designed for young people by young people. It is part of Cruse Bereavement Care's http://www.rd4u.org.uk/about.html Youth Involvement Project and is here to support people after the death of someone close.
http://www.rd4u.org.uk

SANEline was established in 1992 as the first national out-of-hours telephone helpline offering practical information, crisis care and emotional support to anybody affected by mental health problems. 0845 767 8000 http://www.sane.org.uk

Support, advice and information to young people who have run away from home or who are thinking of running away from home or care. 0800 085 2136 http://www.talkdontwalk.org.uk

If your drinking is a problem and you want to stop, it may help to talk to someone who has been there and is now in recovery. 0845 769 7555
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/newcomer/

Free confidential drugs information and advice 24 hours a day via email or telephone (calls from landlines are free and won't show up on the phone bill). This is an independent government funded web site. All correspondence with Frank is held in the strictest confidence. 0800 77 66 00 http://www.talktofrank.com

Founded to provide information, advice and support for children of alcoholics and people concerned for their welfare. 0800 358 3456 http://www.nacoa.org.uk

Anti bullying site with scenarios and lots of information under “did you know?”
http://www.coastkid.org and http://www.bullybusters.org.uk which offers a forum.

Find local services, facts about contraception, sexually transmitted infections, abortion and links to other useful sites. 0800 282 930 http://www.ruthinking.co.uk

General Health Advice – get the answer to “zillions of heath questions”, e.g. bodily changes, not feeling well, weight and eating and moods. ‘You can ask Ann’ question space. http://www.teenagehealthfreak.org

Site for young people affected by domestic violence and how to take positive action if it's happening to you. http://www.thehideout.org.uk

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